Used to wonder what really Linkin Park & Eminem felt or meant years ago.. seems being numb is something felt to be understood and not something anyone can explain to any. To me it's increasing in intensity as days go by. Ironical how something that's not to be can have an intensity to it eh? It's like standing in a ring, getting punched with steady repeated blows over and over again.. it begins with a feeling of pain, anger, loss, disappointment, guilt .. till it doesn't feel anything anymore. Pain and loss are constant but feel something so normal to occur, anger exists but not for the hits - but to spill out everywhere else, disappointment and guilt - well there's where the mind confuses thyself so much.. it begins thinking, but unable to put finger on the reasoning, it's just numb again.
The excitements around don't excite, the travels are a spike of sugar - short lived changes and the blows don't hurt as much they should maybe. Guess this is worse than pain. Or is it? They say emotions make us human, so really.. is being numb being not human? Maybe I'll stay numb to that thought. .. anupam
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